Ponderings on Memorial Day

In my younger days, I pretty much lived at the airport. My boss, a member of the greatest generation, an Air Force Colonel, and a B17 captain had started a civilian flight school post retirement. Every once in a while he’d show me a letter from the USAF where they wanted him to return, and had even carved out some loopholes in order to make it possible for folks of his age… He often said it was tempting, but then … Continue reading Ponderings on Memorial Day

And the Rose Petals Went Flying

Yesterday was Pentecost Sunday… the word for the day is wow. One of the big things my old buddy emphasized in our hard core candor filled convo was “Let the Holy Spirit guide you”. A most appropriate set of words of wisdom for the 7th week of Easter just prior to Pentecost. Alas, like a lot of things, words said on one day don’t necessarily hit home until later, ie the last thing I was thinking of when we talked … Continue reading And the Rose Petals Went Flying

Waiting for my Batteries to Recharge

In my state of brain fade, I forgot to recharge my 18V batteries. As a result, no string trimming, no hedge trimming, and I only got a tiny bit of tilling done before the last remaining one took a dive… so its writing time. So, establishing a new normal… how? My buddies suggestion of some sort of impulse to clear my head logically makes sense. He said, get out of your element for a week, and then jump back into … Continue reading Waiting for my Batteries to Recharge

One Month has Passed

Yesterday was a freaky day, not one crash and burn thing. My guess this has a lot more to do with a cloud of witnesses praying for me, than it does any internal stuff getting fixed, but either way such is pretty cool. Its pretty freaky, in that my old tech group has really rallied to my aid. Its not that they did, as for the most part we’ve all been there for one another over the years… but the … Continue reading One Month has Passed

A New Normal… but no idea

So, I had a long convo with an old business partner/friend. It was good to chat through things in a way where brutal honesty rules and no punches are pulled. That’s one of the cool bits about business… when decisions drive finance, you can’t beat around the bush or you will loose. Beyond that though, we’ve both been through the rough and tumble over the years, so despite hard core candor, there is never any question as to ones support … Continue reading A New Normal… but no idea

Sharpening like my Grandpa

One of the guys in my CAD/CNC group said something profound today. “Its  like running your outboard at full throttle, and then loosing the prop… ” Yep, that pretty much describes it. Caregiving over the long haul pretty much demands full throttle all the time… and when your spouse passes away, not only do you have the inertia of the rotation assembly, but the grief part easily turns into a overspeed situation with a high probability for runaway… Big picture … Continue reading Sharpening like my Grandpa

On Missing Her and being Outliers

One of the things that I really miss, but is also a bit on  the freaky side is the energy… and its crazy making stuff. There is this article that pops up periodically on my facebook feed and after googling around, I a bit I think I found it. It talks about a very long term research project, where they did physiological monitoring of couples and then rechecked things 6 years later. The raw physiological data was fascinating, in that for … Continue reading On Missing Her and being Outliers

Its been 3 weeks

Today, its been 3 weeks since my wife passed away. I’ve started to blog, and then shut things down so many times… A large part of it is due to how scrambled my thinking is. Ie, its near impossible to write something that doesn’t ramble on or venture into multiple non-related subject areas. Otoh, if blogging is to be a healing thing, rather than a communication method, adhering to the protocols and such ends up being more counterproductive than helpful… … Continue reading Its been 3 weeks

St Joseph the Workman Cathedral and God Winks

I think daily mass is way cool… before my wife got too sick to get out much, even on her ambulance stretcher, we used to go to the adoration chapel in the middle of the night, and then would catch morning mass before heading back home. There is something incredible cool about daily mass… and even though I couldn’t receive the elements, not being a Catholic, just being in the presence of others doing so was pretty powerful  Alas, we … Continue reading St Joseph the Workman Cathedral and God Winks

I Lost My Popular Girl

In going through my wifes amazing playlists on youtube, I came across the following set from Survivor. She had the song “Popular Girl’ listed more than a few times… and it really hit home. She struggled with self confidence, and I could never convince her… must be a man-woman comms disconnect thing, but the lyrics of the song wow, its freaky. I wish I had stalked her playlists before she passed… so much amazing music, but then again, she was … Continue reading I Lost My Popular Girl