In going through my wifes amazing playlists on youtube, I came across the following set from Survivor. She had the song “Popular Girl’ listed more than a few times… and it really hit home.
She struggled with self confidence, and I could never convince her… must be a man-woman comms disconnect thing, but the lyrics of the song wow, its freaky. I wish I had stalked her playlists before she passed… so much amazing music, but then again, she was playing it all the time.
In our early years, she would travel with me at times. I remember I was attending OE-LASE (optics and lasers conference) back when, and after the conference sessions, we’d go hang with her peer group. Wow was I out of my league! Los Angeles had been her stomping ground, and she was connected to so many people… World class indeed, and she had nothing to prove.
In later years, when she could only get out and about on a DOD surplus ambulance stretcher I picked up, things didn’t change a whole lot. We’d be at church and delay locking the place up for hours as folks would chat with her. I remember the Easter 2012 pancake breakfast at the Cathdral, she had nearly all of Bishop Quinn’s posse of seminarians engaged long after the tables had been cleared away.
She very much liked to get a little out of line too… often scaring me to bits in the process. It was never a hurtful thing, but more playful crazyness just shy of the precipice. In my world, not all that far from the good old boy saying, “here, hold my beer and watch this”. Some of the things were scary, and even somewhat dangerous, but the fun part, egads, it makes for some awesome memories, even if I was a bit terrified at the time.
The last verse however is where things diverge, but it could have far too easily rang true. I knew she was the one early on… but she made me wait, and wait, and wait and wait and wait and wait…..
In retrospect, with each waiting year, my love and passion for her grew… and when we finally got married she ended up my newlywed bride for 21 years, an amazing 21 years.