Neil Ellis Orts hit on something huge this week. Blackholes… and while I plunge in to such, its not without fear, having experienced the backlash a whole multitude of times. Each time, I wonder, if things are going to crash and burn again, and while I believe seeds are being planted, this whole *”leaving the canned answers behind, and jumping on for a wild ride with God” deal is a scary one indeed.
Some time ago, I remember being taken aback by a fellow Christian’s attitude. They stated “we dont want those folks around here” in reference to a bunch of dudes, either on drugs, or perhaps having too good a time with CH3CH2OH cruising through. I was so offended, I didnt know what to say, and thus said nothing and then the subject changed, and safety returned. When I read Neal’s blog, it was like whoa… I am offended at myself, as I too can ignore voices, and avoid eye contact with the best of them. In my head, “yep we want radical inclusion”… in my heart, “oh noes, here we go again”.
So when I do jump into the fray… yep, emotional blackholes, or as a friend so eloguently stated, emotional vampires, happen, whether it be the homeless, the mentally ill, or I guess just folks we run into as well. I wonder what actually went on in the minds of Jesus and the disciples as I think Neal is right when he stated.
….a reference was made to the crowds that followed Jesus. Now, I don’t know about everyone else, I admit that I’ve generally pictured these crowds as being fairly ordinary, middle class, sane people. Sure, I know there were some oddballs in the group. Prostitutes, demoniacs, whatever. I guess I pictured a sort of Hollywood hooker with a heart of gold. And the demoniacs were healed, so they became nice people, pillars of their communities, people who knew how to act in public and only answered voices everyone else could hear (and politely at that—no screeching or yelling).
Reflecting on my own fear of “emotional black holes” and hearing of the crowds following Jesus, I suddenly realized that nice, middle-class, comfortable, polite, sane people don’t go around following a preacher and his band of merry men. (For one thing, they’re all busy with their nice, polite, middle class, sane, careers.)…
So I’m pondering this… how did Jesus and the apostles respond? What happens when the resources at hand drop to nil, and nothing more is left? What happens when the followers start acting real crazy when such happens. Yep, been there, done that, and it can get ugly fast.
Neil goes and presents the following.
And what if we’re called to risk that gravitational pull to help find a light that resists the black hole? More than resist, but turns the black hole inside out, so that it no longer pulls in and crushes, but reaches out and heals?
Granted, I’ve been privileged to see such happen, but it takes time, and often there are a whole lot of rough patches along the way. Doing the “listening and being there” thing is about all that I can think of… but then I also realize, not all are going to be do such or even for those who can, not all the time, as such often takes a very long time… thus the normal suspicions of abandonment that those burdened with blackhole characteristics have are not unwarranted. The above sort of turns the table compassion wise… on the other hand, its still not easy, or at least I dont find it easy by any means.
How do others respond (blog comments invited)
*A super cool quote I picked up from Pastor Steve McGinley’s sermon last Wednesday.
I shared this with you privately on Facebook, but I thought I would post it here as well in order to share it with others who read your blog.
I have a few thoughts I’d like to share. Mind you, they will be very elementary and preliminary and in some cases not fully tested. I myself am wrestling with that question, though in somewhat different territory, and have been wrestling with that question overall in a large-scale, big-picture, forest-not-trees fashion for some time as I seek to hammer out an understanding from scripture concerning the love our Master wants to shed abroad through us and how it differs from the common-sense and “conventional wisdom” of this world (earthy, sensual, devilish, and not of the Spirit of Christ) which states, in essence, “It’s OK to be weary of well-doing, and when you are, it’s time to draw a line, exonerate yourself from any further caring, and ladle copious amounts of judgment-passing and blame on whomever you’re sick of helping because he or she hasn’t healed, recovered, or rejoined society on your precious timetable.”
Don’t get me wrong — I think it’s OK to have limits, it’s OK to have boundaries. We are human after all, walking in emulation of Christ. We will stumble, we will fall, we will hit that crushing place where our Spirit-filled inspired enthusiasm crashes headlong into our very real physical, mental and emotional limitations. But it’s not cool to abandon those in need as a result — and it’s NEVER OK to blame the afflicted, downtrodden, or suffering for our weakness, lack, or limitations. I won’t deny the unpleasant attitudes of some might make it tempting, but we need to plead boldly before the throne of grace for “grace to help in time of need” and compassion that recognizes those attitudes are, in fact (as I believe your article alluded to at one point) the result of having been continually abandoned, given up on, thrown under the bus. Someone has to show these people something of the unfailing love and new-every-morning mercy of the True and Living God, and if not us, His called out and chosen, then WHO?
I confess I don’t have solid answers in this department, so I won’t presume to offer anything up as such. I will say that there are a few basic principles that I believe can serve us well in these situations, though:
(1) We are not called to every single battle that presents itself to us. Some we are simply not suited to take up and should leave for others who are. Others may prove merely superficial distractions in the end, eating time, effort, and energies to “wear out the saints of the Most High” merely so that those time, effort, and energies will not be available for the battles we HAVE been called to. Discernment is needed here when a person or a situation comes our way. Has Master called me, specifically, to this person or situation in His Name?
There will always be more work in Master’s fields and vineyards than there are hands to put to the plow — that may be part of why He said, “The poor you have with you always.” We need to learn how to discern to which battles, which struggles, we are called to come alongside and help and which ones we are not to enter ourselves. Of the latter, we can commend that person and/or situation into God’s hands in prayer, ask Him to send the appropriate intercessors, ministers and spiritual warriors for the job, and leave them confidently in the hands of the only One who can really make a difference in the end, with or without our particular agency.
The awareness here is that it is not ourselves, but Christ to whom all ministry, missionary, and outreach work belongs, and only by the hand of Christ that any of it gets done. HE is infinite; WE are finite. That’s why we need multitudes of US to even begin to try to contain all He wants to do through us in this world. At any given time there will always be more going on than we can handle. That’s why there’s more members in the Bride than just ourselves. ^_^
(2) We ourselves cannot heal, fix, rehabilitate, reform, recover, or save anyone — Christ alone has the ability to reach into their hearts where the true work must begin. We are merely conduits of His outpouring, vessels through which He accomplishes His purposes. This may sound kind of “well, duh” but it is a very vital realization to keep in mind for avoiding burnout. Burnout (and subsequent abandonment of the needy and afflicted) happens primarily because human beings take upon ourselves the idea that we have to do what only God Himself can do — and thus we neglect to recognize our own very real limitations on what we realistically can and cannot offer.
Theoretically the potential is there to be inexhaustible in giving — we are to be in the world as our Master is, doing as we see Him doing, and He provides all our needs. In a hypothetical situation of perfect faith and perfect trust where every groan of the flesh is met with the best response possible from a mind containing the Mind of Christ, no situation could ever arise that we could not meet and triumph in. But that’s theoretical and hypothetical. Very few real people actually abide in such blessed heights of spiritual maturity.
Most of us are somewhere in the stages of learning to crawl, to walk, to run, and then to run without growing weary … to walk and not faint … and so we do have weariness, we do faint, we do have our own places not yet unfolded, not yet unfurled, not yet blossomed and matured, which come to the forefront whenever we undertake to carry a load, to shoulder responsibility, to bear others’ burdens and so fulfill the law of Christ. (Which by the way was never meant to be a one-way proposition but a two-way –or multi-way– street among many believers working and living in tandem, but I digress.) Therefore, it behooves us to have a clear understanding of just what is OUR job in the great work and what is our MASTER’s job. His shoes are too big for us to fill by ourselves, but His yoke is easy and His burden is light. If we find it otherwise, we can be certain of one thing: we have left off His yoke in favor of trying to fill His shoes instead. If we take upon ourselves only what He commands, it is easy and light. If we try to take His PLACE in the work we are doing, we find ourselves weary and heavy-laden, well nigh to fainting, discouraged, and burning out.
(3) “Come apart by yourselves and rest awhile.” Master took breaks, frequently. When the crowds became too wearying for His humanity, He made time to be with just His closest disciples or alone with Father God. As He is, so are we in the world. He ministered in human skin to leave us an example, knowing that we too would become tired, weary, worn out, frazzled, in danger of “burnout” and in desperate need of rest. Don’t abandon the labors — but do take breaks. Don’t give up on needy and afflicted people — but do set realistic limits with them as to what they can expect from you and what you simply cannot provide in that relationship. Do not be afraid to stand your ground with pushy or demanding folks — in meekness and humbleness of heart, but standing firm nonetheless — and do not fall into the trap of letting the Enemy goad and chide and accuse, saying, “Oh if you were a REAL Christian you would love better than this, you would pour yourself out like Jesus on the cross, even unto death!” &c. It is NO failure in the Master’s service to need rest, need breaks, need reasonable boundaries (without heaping blame and judgment to establish them of course), need your limits recognized. it is only failure to turn aside altogether and forsake His vineyard.
Hope something in there is helpful?